


April 4th

by Katt1848



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Almost No Dialogue, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Best Friends, Birthday, Birthday Presents, Canon Compliant, Friendship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I just had this idea, In which Kurapika hates his birthday, Kurta Clan - Freeform, Little Dialogue, No Romance, No Smut, Personal Growth, Please Don't Hate Me, Puberty, Trans Character, Trans Issues, Trans Kurapika, Trans Male Character, Why Did I Write This?, and is angsty in general
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-16
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-07-13 01:34:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16007534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katt1848/pseuds/Katt1848
Summary: April 4th is a day Kurapika has never been excited for. Nothing good had ever come out of it, so he no reason to celebrate it. Until now.





	April 4th

April 4th. An ordinary day for most people. A day that came and went without anyone’s notice usually. Sure, some important things happened on that day, but that importance was from memories long past, certainly not things people would think about on a day to day basis. No one got excited for this day, aside from a handful of people in the world. 

 

Kurapika was one of those people. His friends got excited too, but it was for a different reason than him usually. The reason his friends got excited was because this ordinary day was his birthday. 

 

Now, most people are generally excited for their birthday. They got presents, sweets, music, games; they got to be selfish with no repercussions. However, in the small Kurta village, birthdays were not a day to celebrate. You got a day free from village chores, but there were no parties, no sweets, no presents. He never wanted anything that his village wasn’t already providing to him. He was a happy child.

 

When Kurapika got to be a certain age, his birthday was a celebrated day. It was a strange celebration, one he hadn’t quite understood yet because his studies hadn’t brought him to that topic. It wasn’t important for the test that the Elder had recently conceded into letting him take. So when his mother explained to him that he would soon become a young lady, he hadn’t questioned it. Hadn’t spent a moment thinking about it. He was too focused on the upcoming test. 

 

This celebration was held with his family and closest friends, and he had gotten a couple small gifts. One was a hand sewing kit, and one was a pair of earrings with red stones. He kept both of these presents close to him, even bringing them with him when he went into town with Pairo for the test. Once he had passed the test, he made sure to pack them in the safest part of his bag. He would take them out from time to time when he felt homesick.

 

Three weeks after his birthday, he received the news of his clanmates’ deaths, and he had sworn vengeance on the people who committed the atrocity. 

 

It wasn’t until the following April 4th that he found out what his mother had meant. It wasn’t a pretty thing, becoming a woman. It was painful, and gross, and he hated every moment of it. He resented the people who took his family from him more that day, because they had taken away the people who were supposed to help him with this. After that, April 4th was a bitter memory of what he had lost, a reminder of when he became the thing he wasn’t.

 

As he matured, Kurapika began realizing that his mental image wasn’t matching the person he was becoming. When he should have had broad shoulders, he was gifted broad hips. Where there should have been muscles, there were breasts. His brain was saying he had a penis; why, then, was there a vagina? His confusion brought him to research the questions that littered his thoughts everyday, the concerns and distress that he pushed away for more pressing matters. Why should he care about what he looks like when his family could no longer care about themselves? His curiosity got the better of him though. 

 

It was April 4th when he discovered that he was transgender. 

 

As the years passed, he allowed himself little time to deal with the dysphoria that plagued his thoughts. When they became a nuisance, a pressing matter that his already addled brain couldn’t shove away anymore, he would find the quickest solution to the problem until it resurfaced tenfold. When he could no longer stand the way his clothes shaped his body, he made himself new ones that weren’t as tight. He had made his tabard, clothing that had allowed him to be apart of his lost culture, but had also hidden his curves. When his breasts became noticeable through his new clothing, he used the meager cash he had saved to buy himself a binder. Small things that helped his mind settle.

 

By the time this wasn’t enough, he was so absorbed in his training that he was too tired to think about it. His 16th birthday came and went without him realizing. It wasn’t until July that he even realized it had passed. He had just reached a milestone in his training, so he allowed himself to relax for a day. He ended up regretting it because without the distraction, his brain wandered back to his dysphoria. In an effort to settle his mind, he began researching dysphoria and gender confirmation surgeries. He found out about hormone replacement therapy, subcutaneous mastectomies, and all the surgeries that could be performed to form a penis. The costs dampened his mood, but knowing there were options allowed his brain to settle for a while. 

 

When April 4th came around again the following year, he was filling out an application for the 287th Hunter Exam. For once, he felt excited again. He knew how rigorous this test was, but if he passed, then he would be able to access more information on the Phantom Troupe. When the application was mailed, he allowed himself a fleeting thought about how being a Hunter could cover the cost of those surgeries his brain so desperately craved. 

 

By his next birthday he was a Hunter. He had made friends during the Exam. While they didn’t all pass the Exam, they had forged bonds that would last them a lifetime. They had agreed to go their separate ways until September 1st of that year. On April 4th, he had found the underground bodyguard agency, and was rejected because he didn’t know nen. He found his teacher that day.

 

Kurapika began his training again. During it, he lost of bit of himself as his revenge plan began to set itself in stone. His curiosity about the world was stifled, placed second to his training. He had fallen out of touch with his friends, hesitant to contact them even on the day they agreed to meet due to everything that had been going on. After York Shin, one of them had tried to force his way back into Kurapika’s life out of concern, but he wouldn't let him. His life was too dangerous to allow his friends near him. He had ignored every call, focused on his job.

 

April 4th was the day he left the Nostrade family to start his own bodyguard agency. He had more than enough money to get the eyes of his clanmates back, and now he had the time. He had asked himself late that night if he could allow himself to look into getting the surgeries now; in the end, he decided he couldn’t afford to waste time on getting surgery that would cripple him for months. 

 

On his 19th birthday, he was working as the Rat to screen provisional hunters with the Dog in preparation for the voyage to the Dark Continent. The only reason that he even remembered it was his birthday was because the Boar had managed to get up to his room before he did, and had brought a small cake with him. Kurapika had been shocked to see the other, but he thanked him for the thought and had shared the small cake with him. He wasn’t really into sweets, but the cake had been good. The combination of the sweet gesture and the company had actually brought a smile to his face.

 

He still wasn’t sure what had made him crack and start crying that evening, but he had been grateful when Leorio had simply held him, not saying a word as Kurapika had wet his shirt with his tears.

 

The expedition had been a long one, lasting well over a year. Numerous people had been lost to the unexplored lands, some of them disappearing without a trace. Kurapika and Leorio had been lucky to both make it out alive. To be honest though, Kurapika wouldn’t have made it without Leorio; there were several times where Kurapika had blacked out from using Emperor Time too much, and every time Leorio had nursed him back to health. His friend had been distraught when Kurapika had explained to him why this happened, and had given himself a secret mission to find something that would reverse the effects Kurapika’s nen had on his body.

 

April 4th was the day Leorio had lucked out, and was able to bring Kurapika back mere hours before he would have died. When he had come to, Leorio was crying tears of relief, and had insisted on staying in camp with Kurapika while he got his strength back. 

 

After the expedition was over, and he was back on known land, Kurapika set out to find the last few pairs of eyes. He had managed to get six pairs from Tserriednich during the expedition, so he only had 3 pairs left to find. He searched all across the known world, but he couldn't find even a hint of them, a whisper on the wind. He began to lose hope, and by his 20th birthday, he gave up. A few nights before the anniversary, he had contacted Leorio, asking if he would be willing to help him bury the eyes. The other had agreed without a moment of hesitation, and they set up a time and place to meet. 

 

They buried the eyes on the 8 year anniversary of the massacre. Leorio didn't let Kurapika be alone, and he was glad to have him there.

 

Months passed, and Kurapika had given up on his revenge against the Troupe. He had returned as many eyes as he could to his brethren, finally feeling at peace again. He found a home in the countryside, close enough to the city to buy things, but far enough that it was quiet. He still ran his agency, but he wasn't there as often. Of course though, all good things must come to an end. Now that Kurapika wasn't as busy, his dysphoria decided to remind him it was still there. He had started looking into the surgeries from before, giving them serious consideration. Late one evening, he called up Leorio, and bounced the idea of getting top surgery off of him. He was still nervous talking about his gender identity, but when Leorio had found out during the expedition, he had been supporting and caring and almost literally fought anyone who tried to give him a hard time. 

 

Leorio had been very supportive of the idea, even offering to be in the hospital with him and help him with recovery. As the conversation progressed, Leorio made sure to make it abundantly clear that this was Kurapika’s decision, no matter how many people he asked. He thanked him at the end, and he went to bed with a lot of things to think about. 

 

Kurapika started reaching out to doctors who operated on informed consent, setting up a few consultations. Leorio had gone with him to every one of them, taking the time off school even though Kurapika insisted otherwise. The first one had been rather awkward, as Kurapika had to be topless for obvious reasons, but he had wanted Leorio in the room during the examination. Kurapika eventually settled with a doctor, and they got everything in order to book an appointment. He was able to pay for the operation in full ahead of time, so everything was set.

 

April 4th used to be a day Kurapika didn’t care for; he would gladly tell himself he hated the day. It had never meant anything good for him, and he did his best to ignore its existence. Now though, as he woke up early to shower and get Leorio up, he felt excitement for the first time. He was nervous as hell, but he wasn’t expecting anything else. He just wished that he could at least drink something, but his doctor had forbade him from eating or drinking starting at midnight. He looked at his bare chest in the mirror, listening to Leorio badly singing from his bathroom. He couldn’t help but smile, pulling on a camisole and a button up shirt. By this time tomorrow, he was going to look different. 

 

As Kurapika finished buttoning up his shirt, steam wafted over from the now open bathroom door, Leorio stepping out and walking over to him. Just as he was about to speak, Leorio put an arm around his shoulders and they met each other’s eyes in the mirror. “You ready Pika? You were a nervous wreck last night.” Kurapika elbowed his side, but there was no malice behind it. “You promised you wouldn’t talk about that.” He paused as Leorio stuck his tongue out at him, ruffling Kurapika’s hair. The blond huffed and straightened out his hair again.

 

“To answer your question, yes. Though to be honest, I’m still incredibly nervous. You know I don’t like hospitals, and the doctor already told me he was going to keep me overnight…” Leorio rubbed Kurapika’s shoulders a bit. “You’ll be fine Kurapika. You’ve done too much research, and I’ll be there. And my offer still stands to make them let me be in the operating room if you want.” Kurapika shook his head, rolling his stiff shoulders once Leorio’s hands were gone. They headed out to the living room, grabbing their shoes and Leorio taking Kurapika’s overnight bag. Just as they were about to step out of the apartment, the blond stopped and turned to his friend. As said man started to question why he stopped, Kurapika hugged him, hiding his face from the other’s sight. “Thank you Leorio. For everything…” Leorio returned the surprise hug easily.

 

“Course Kurapika. Happy birthday."

**Author's Note:**

> I'm almost done with Chapter 14 I promise! Don't hate me please.


End file.
